growing up I was always the kid who was allergic to nothing. no foods, no animals, no plants, no medications. I could roll around in poison ivy like it was a pile of cottonballs and never fear a rash. I scoffed at my dad when my grandma's cats made him sneeze. I rolled my eyes at the annual drama surrounding my mom's fall ragweed allergies. I thought the kids who couldn't eat lunch in the cafeteria at school because of their severe nut allergies were such fakers. as far as I was concerned, since I didn't have allergies, the rest of y'all were just complete hypochondriacs.
THIS IS MY BACKYARD.
I am SURROUNDED by maple trees, and that is no exaggeration. there is a half-inch thick CARPET of maple pollen out there. it's on the lawn, it's on the lawn furniture, it's on the driveway, it's on the doormat, it covers my car every morning. it comes into the house on my shoes. and I am DYING.
I've finally figured out that taking zyrtec-d in the morning makes me feel like a squirrel on meth, so that's clearly out of the equation. I've found that taking regular 24-hour zyrtec at bedtime helps because I don't have to deal with any weird morning loopiness.
but seriously, I am so sorry to all whom I have previously laughed at. allergies are the real mccoy. this is suffering like I have never known before. do you hear me, allergy karma police? I take it back. and you can take my allergies back now, too.
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