I had horrible - I mean, wake up sitting straight up in bed, sweat soaking the sheets, gasping for breath kind of horrible - nightmares all night. needless to say, I did not sleep well. I got up to use the bathroom around 4am, and after that, I finally fell asleep. but my alarm went off at 5:30, and then it was pointless trying to go back to bed. I like to wake up early and talk to t on nights (mornings? living in different time zones is confusing) he's been flying, and 5:30 my time is usually when that all goes down; hence the alarm. but this morning I was tired, freaked out, and cranky, and he got back later than usual.
have you ever had a really awful dream that stays with you no matter what you do to try and shake it? mine did. it stuck with me while I gardened for hours, while I ran errands, while I made dinner. I feel like I've been running from the apocalypse all day, and I'm exhausted.
I went to walmart this afternoon to buy a watering can. actually, I only went to walmart because I was already out and had that same sinking feeling in my stomach that I'd been carrying around all day and I thought that maybe, if I just drove around town for a while, it would go away. I went into walmart to pass some time and then remembered that I really needed to buy a watering can.
the thermometer on my car when I parked said 100°, and I reminded myself that I really should invest in one of those aluminum foil windshield protectors to keep my car from getting so damn hot every time I leave it out in the sun. too white trash? maybe too white trash. maybe I'll just sweat it out. I was inside for maybe ten minutes. when I came out, the sky was black, and bright gashes of lightning were dancing all over the parking lot. it was one part raining half-dollar sized warm rain, one part hailing golfballs. (I'd never before seen this so-called "golfball sized hail" of which weathermen are so fond of speaking. suffice it to say: it hurts like getting pelted with golfballs. run.) it was freezing cold outside, and the wind must have been whipping over 50mph. I bolted to my car and sat there for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. I consulted the weather app on my trusty iphone and learned that the storm was all on top of me and north of me, but that to the south (aka home base), things were clear...for now.
centerville dot = the walmart parking lot.
my car was rocking back and forth and the girl in the car next to mine shot me an anxious look. I decided to make a run for it.
the view out my windshield in the parking lot. the wipers were running, by the way. yeah.
this was no ordinary thunderstorm. don't get me wrong - I love a good, rowdy summer thunderstorm. but this one took the anxiety I'd been feeling all day and shot it to the moon. by the time I reached the house, the storm had followed and the tornado sirens were blaring. I got inside as fast as I could and spent some quality time lying on the floor in the closet, hoping and praying that the sirens would stop and the house wouldn't get vacuumed into the sky.
listen, I'm from rhode island. we don't really do tornadoes up there, with a few recent exceptions that I blame on global climate change. this was a big deal for me, and it really shook me up.
so yeah, that was today. time for bed. hoping to shake all that's nagging at me and wake up feeling refreshed and carpe diem-y tomorrow. and hoping most of all for weather that doesn't leave me shaking in my wellies.
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